Friday, July 29, 2016

L'Gros Luxe

I wanted to write another restaurant review. Ah, it always starts like that. Whenever I only have one review left on the back burner, I start feeling antsy and feel like I should have another one goin'. Why L'Gros Luxe? Easy: open late on Sunday evenings, close to my place, and cheap food that one would eat when wanting to pig out. OK, I didn't totally want to pig out but, since I hadn't had dessert in a couple weeks, I was planning on doing just that. Oink oink.

L'Gros Luxe is located where Limòn used to be. I loved that restaurant and I still, to this day, do not understand why it closed. Especially to be replaced by a l'Gros Luxe. It's very sad, really. Let's all hold hands and cry. Aaaaand we're good! But seriously, even if you serve awesome food and you have 8 billion clients, your restaurant is always at risk of closing. Yep, this is what I retained from my stint as an ITHQ student: 'Your restaurant WILL close. Do NOT open a restaurant. You will NOT succeed'. And all that jazz. Props to my friends who actually have opened restaurants and are still successful (read: surviving) to this day.

L'Gros Luxe kind of feels like a saloon. 'Hey, meet me at the saloon', I'll say. OK, no. No one ever says that. Forest green walls, wooden everything, chandeliers hanging. Alright, does that even sound like a saloon? What IS a saloon? Maybe I was a bit off. Hey, I was comin' off a 12 and a half hour work shift so I might have been a bit woozy. Bob Marley was playing and everything was irie man.

I was seated very quickly by the window. Great little spot so close to the sidewalk that I was afraid to leave my phone on that side of the table. I had already looked at the menu and knew what I wanted: a grilled cheese with pork and a pickle. Or pickled pork? Hum, ew. Side note: apparently they make awesome caesars with lots of stuff in there AND out (i.e.: a burger on a stick WHAT!!) but I'm still doing my month-without-alcohol business.
Grilled cheese Cubano and sweet potato fries. Lets start with the fries. Think about the most perfect fries you've ever tasted. Got it? Well, these were it. Crunchy, yet soft on the inside and seasoned to the t. Perfect. This, paired with that tangy dijonnaise type of mayo was a great match. The grilled cheese had 3 cheeses: mozarella, cheddar and suisse. Should be good right? Wrong. The cheese actually tasted like nothing and the only way I knew there was cheese in there is that it was all stringy and shizzle. They could have put water in there and it would have tasted the same. It would have been a bit soggy though. The pork was nearly nonexistent and the existent part was dry. The pickle was nice and briny but a pickle-only grilled cheese? Not a huge fan. On the menu it mentioned that the bread was artisanal (hehe, anal!--yes, I am 5) and from my point of view, this was white bread bought at Maxi. Nothing artisanal 'bout that!
Not sure I mentioned it, but I hadn't had a 'real' dessert in over 2 weeks. I deserved my dessert. I picked this: fried cookie dough, vanilla ice cream, lemon, white and dark chocolate. Before I say anything else, let me just mention that having known it was gonna be like dat, I would have waited to have a different dessert somewhere else. First off, it tasted nothing like the cookie dough I had been dreaming about. Yes, I have weird food dreams. It just tasted like a ball of fried dough. Bah. And it was quite hard to get through with my spoon. I would have needed a fork AND a knife! The ice cream had transformed into soup within a couple minutes and the white chocolate and the lemon were no where to be found. I looked, I swear! All in all, a very disappointing dessert.

Service was ... normal, for a lack of a better word. Got seated right away and mentioned that I was going to start by my lonesome but probably would be joined by a friend in a bit. They took that as 'I am waiting for a friend and am absolutely not hungry or thirsty right now so don't come to my table for 10 minutes'. I may be exaggerating. It was at least 6 minutes. Actually, I had to wave him down so that I could order and get some agua. I hate waving, it makes me feel like the Queen. Ha! At least he came and asked if we wanted anything from the kitchen when it was about to close. Many places don't do that and then you are still hungry and annoyed.

And now, the scores!

Food: 6 (potatoes can't always save the day)
Service: 7.5

On account of the flat grilled cheese and the uber dough-y dessert, I shant go back.

L'Gros Luxe Sud-Ouest Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

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